A Soliloquy

If I want to be a good boss; in order for me to be a good boss, it is not important what I believe a good boss should be. It is what my employees think a good boss should be and therefore I must align myself to that attribute so that I feel one with their feelings about me being a good boss.

However, there is an inherent catch to that idea. While qualitative attributes can be earnt with precision, I do not wish to paint everyone working for and with me in the same color. There is virtue in understanding and assessing individuals on their own merits instead of blanketing them with stoicism.

“As a doctor, you need to know what your patient needs.”

I work with the same philosophy in my interactions with all the people that work for and with me.

You have to be mindful of an establishment as a being, and understand the virtues of what it imparts and gain from it. I communicate with my employees in the way they need me to as individuals. For some, a simple word is enough to reinforce my faith in their professional skills. Yet, to others, I have to be a tough leader to bring out the best in them.

As I have said before, we live by what others think of us and not what we think of ourselves; to some who are resilient and able to take it, they grow, and those that don’t see across the dissonance eventually wash out! But you see my point right?

All of this is because we refuse to be ourselves. What does my father perceive of me as a son? Well, I need to emulate it and therefore I must become that son. What does my friend perceive me to be? A good friend? Well, then I must become that. So we are always trying to align ourselves to somebody else’s perception. Because we want that connection, that stability, that validation- Ah! You are part of my community, my family, my circle and me.

All of this is what keeps us away from love, peace and happiness. And one of the reasons this dissonance between our real self and our perceived self occurs is because people are lonely.

Loneliness is a disease. And when people are lonely, they become more ignorant. Eventually ending up off-track seeking more and more validation through outsiders. The peril of that is if that outsider ceases to exist, they no longer have a source of validation and therefore they end up being lonelier. Validation coming in from anywhere but within is not beneficial to the soul or the journey of life.

Thus, I do think the root cause of people not attaining love, peace and happiness come from ignorance. The whole idea of how we live in a world where everything is perception-driven is a frightful realization to say the least.

My personal journey is made up of a lot of baby steps, time, reflection and introspection. Meditation helped me a lot. It is nothing but calming my mind and self-reflecting. It allowed me to reflect deeply on certain experiences. And those experiences are what make me the person that I am today.